Observations with 10 Weeks Left

The Queen & Her King at 30 Weeks Pregnant, Third Trimester

The Queen & Her King with Exactly 10 Weeks to Go! (Photo taken by Danielle Vieth at “Art=Mixx” a wonderful “black and white” themed event organized by friends of ours at the Maui Arts & Cultural Center.)

Wow. I woke up the other day and realized: I ONLY HAVE TEN WEEKS LEFT UNTIL MY DUE DATE! As the days go by, more baby things are arriving at the house…by mail, via hand-me-down, Craigslist, etc.

It’s getting real – real fast. 

It’s uncanny how my pregnancy (so far) as been pretty much “by the book”. My first trimester had the morning sickness, fatigue, food aversions; my second trimester, I felt incredible, like I was walking on air (except for some complications with my S.I. joint); as soon as I entered the third trimester, it was like I could feel the “peak” beginning to dip down. Way, way down.

From where I sit today, on this Full Moon (celebrated as Lammas by many early cultures, the first of several “harvest festivals”), I find myself in a place of reflection on what has already been accomplished over the past seven months, and at the same time, addressing my hopes and fears as we continue towards the ultimate harvest – the birth of our son.

Most of all, I am noticing.

I’m noticing that my focus is getting stronger. Many, many things are falling to the wayside.

I’m noticing that my tolerance for b.s. is disappearing.

I’m noticing that – just like in my first trimester – I want to sleep ALL OF THE TIME.

I’m noticing that I want to clean everything, but lack the energy to do it myself.

I’m noticing that as the birth date gets closer, my fears are heightened and find myself at points of deep reflection about my strength, my abilities and where the fear is coming from. (I’m reminded by my pre-natal yoga teacher Maggie that F.E.A.R. stands for “False Evidence Appearing Real”.)

I’m noticing that I can only stand up on my feet for about 10 minutes at a time before I begin to experience pretty serious low/mid-back pain.

I’m noticing that I’m happiest in my bed or in the ocean.

I’m noticing things around the house that I want changed/fixed/updated before baby comes.

I’m noticing that it’s beginning to feel like I’m really carrying someone around, and he’s getting heavier every day.

I’m noticing that “momnesia” is really kicking in. I am forgetting things I normally wouldn’t, I am making typos where I’d normally catch them…and I’m letting it go. (Hard for a perfectionist to do!)

I’m noticing how wonderful my husband is (the “king” in the photo above), how he carries my bags for me, prepares me dinner, helps me up the steps, makes sure I’m comfortable whenever he’s around.

I’m noticing how the community of mothers out there is so strong, so beautiful, so generous and supportive – and how I am so deeply honored beyond words to join the club. I’m starting to see motherhood is the ultimate way to experience life, and it brings me joy to the point of tears that I am so, so incredibly blessed.

I’m noticing my gratitude. Thank you, mothers.

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8 thoughts on “Observations with 10 Weeks Left

  1. Beautiful mom. Beautifully written. For the moms and dads who read this blog, we read in silence nodding to ourselves because we know your journey has only just begun. I’m so happy for you and Joel, really happy. And here for you at every turn – if you need me or not.

  2. Wonderful authentic piece. That inward-turning is part of the homestretch. Revel in it–this too shall pass, and never come again. (because even if you have other babies, every preg is different, just like the children they produce).
    Aloha
    Toby

  3. Sara, I noticed you’re taking to motherhood beautifully. Yesterday when I saw you so pregnant I thought my God it’s hard to believe you have ten weeks to go before the birth of your son. I find myself admiring all mothers and feel happy for you… I never got to experience being a mom, tho I’ve cared for many people in my life as thought they were my children. It’s beautiful to see this happening for you with the support of your honey and all the friends around you…

  4. As much of a miracle it is that you are experiencing right now–the kicking, the movements, the empowerment and knowledge that you are doing one of the most important things you were meant to do–the true miracle is when he is born. You’ll look at him with so much love that you will not even give a thought to the birthing process at all. He’ll look at you and bond with you and Joe. He’ll wrap his little fingers around one of yours and look at you so seriously as though he’s trying to memorize your face for all time. He is so dependent on you for the first few years–looking to you for guidance and love. He will start to develop his own little personality, but you will see traits in him that remind you of Joe and of yourself. And sometimes at night you’ll cry because you want to protect him from everything, but know that he has to find his own way with loving guidance and support. He’ll be incredibly stunning in his own way, and so much more intelligent than you can ever imagine. And if he’s like his Daddy, he’ll be so sweet and loving! And one day his pre-school teacher will tell you, “Oh, Sara! He is the sweetest person I have ever known.” No child will be more loved than this little guy – by his parents, his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends. And while most kids are thought of as the most brilliant, loving, special people by their own parents, family and friends, you will know that yours is the most special, because he is yours. Always, just love him. But be realistic because no kid is absolutely perfect. You will get to know him and understand him, and love him, and be frustrated and sad, and happy, and joyful, and proud. This journey you are embarking on is the most important role you will ever have. It is also the most rewarding and wonderful experience you can imagine until you become a grandparent yourself. I miss the days of the “babies”, but I’m so happy and proud of my boys, and I wouldn’t change one single thing in the past. Because all of the experiences, love, and tears made them and me what we are today–precious, loved, wonderful humans who spread goodness and happiness wherever they can. I love you both so much, and this new bundle of joy will be so precious and wonderful!

    as

  5. Beautifully written Sara. I can feel your excitement, happiness and yes, fear (I love your yoga teacher’s acronym btw I must remember that). I’ve never been a mother, although I always thought that was in my life plan, it just didn’t work out that way. I always enjoy hearing about other women’s journeys.

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