Wow. I woke up the other day and realized: I ONLY HAVE TEN WEEKS LEFT UNTIL MY DUE DATE! As the days go by, more baby things are arriving at the house…by mail, via hand-me-down, Craigslist, etc.
It’s getting real – real fast.
It’s uncanny how my pregnancy (so far) as been pretty much “by the book”. My first trimester had the morning sickness, fatigue, food aversions; my second trimester, I felt incredible, like I was walking on air (except for some complications with my S.I. joint); as soon as I entered the third trimester, it was like I could feel the “peak” beginning to dip down. Way, way down.
From where I sit today, on this Full Moon (celebrated as Lammas by many early cultures, the first of several “harvest festivals”), I find myself in a place of reflection on what has already been accomplished over the past seven months, and at the same time, addressing my hopes and fears as we continue towards the ultimate harvest – the birth of our son.
Most of all, I am noticing.
I’m noticing that my focus is getting stronger. Many, many things are falling to the wayside.
I’m noticing that my tolerance for b.s. is disappearing.
I’m noticing that – just like in my first trimester – I want to sleep ALL OF THE TIME.
I’m noticing that I want to clean everything, but lack the energy to do it myself.
I’m noticing that as the birth date gets closer, my fears are heightened and find myself at points of deep reflection about my strength, my abilities and where the fear is coming from. (I’m reminded by my pre-natal yoga teacher Maggie that F.E.A.R. stands for “False Evidence Appearing Real”.)
I’m noticing that I can only stand up on my feet for about 10 minutes at a time before I begin to experience pretty serious low/mid-back pain.
I’m noticing that I’m happiest in my bed or in the ocean.
I’m noticing things around the house that I want changed/fixed/updated before baby comes.
I’m noticing that it’s beginning to feel like I’m really carrying someone around, and he’s getting heavier every day.
I’m noticing that “momnesia” is really kicking in. I am forgetting things I normally wouldn’t, I am making typos where I’d normally catch them…and I’m letting it go. (Hard for a perfectionist to do!)
I’m noticing how wonderful my husband is (the “king” in the photo above), how he carries my bags for me, prepares me dinner, helps me up the steps, makes sure I’m comfortable whenever he’s around.
I’m noticing how the community of mothers out there is so strong, so beautiful, so generous and supportive – and how I am so deeply honored beyond words to join the club. I’m starting to see motherhood is the ultimate way to experience life, and it brings me joy to the point of tears that I am so, so incredibly blessed.
I’m noticing my gratitude. Thank you, mothers.